Sunday, June 12, 2005

I Am In A State Of Dehydration..

I read somewhere that the caucasian male's progress as a specie was stalled sometime around the Mesolithic. I paraphrase; "As the last great continent-spanning glaciers melted and dried out, so man's evolutionary flux waned and dribbled. What crawled from that dribble is the giblet torso and ostrich-limbs that characterize modern anglo-saxon manhood."

Apparently this goes not just for the stylings but also the fixtures. Every white man comes with their body's thermostat set to 'just after ice-age'. So, cool and stylish on an ice pack in furs, but an alcoholic out of alcohol in all other conditions.

It's become hotter than, in evolutionary terms, I have ever learned to cope. My body has one coutermeaure against such heat; to bucket sweat. It doesn't help. What it does is impact on relatively simple tasks such as breathing and speaking to the extent that I am no longer attractive.

As a child one could claim to have been pushed into the river to explain the wetness. This strategy would elicite pity from the onlooker, and sometimes an invitation for a quick rub down. The concrete metropolis I chose for adult habitation though contains few waterways.

The next day, I was lucky to find on further research that at a particular water content/body weight ratio the body ceases to sweat. It is too busy coping with dizzyness, thickened blood, and the formation of 'colloids' to bother with sweating.

I am in a permanent state of dehydration to get a woman to sleep with me!


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