Saturday, July 16, 2005

I Resumed Posting On Another Blog..

A friend who runs a moderately benign blog reporting on DJs who mix with cassette tapes, and art so fine you need a tooth pick and Swiss watch maker just to identify it, has invited me to post. Apart from the art and the music, he also takes a passing interest in programming.

He requested some anecdotes about Tokyo. I'm really not sure what to say other than miniskirts are back in fashion. Perhaps I can drone on about my everyday worries like, am I sweating too much, have I run out of pencil leads, or are there enough books of philosophy lying scattered about my person.

This reminds me of a girl I was once infatuated with in primary school. Everything she did I found incredibly stylish. The way she swung a rounders bat, her fine blonde hair gossamer-like in morning assembly, and the perfunctory way she would deal with horny, sexually confused boys attempting to lift her skirt during afternoon break.

I was one of those boys, and with devastating hindsight I now realize that what impelled our activities wasn't the unknown quantity of that which was hidden by the skirt, but rather the skirt itself. If a boy were to have attended school in a skirt, for religious or other reasons, we would no doubt have absorbed ourselves in gaining a quick glimpse at the colour of his underwear.

Anyway, the stylish girl turned out to be wearing lavender undies. Horrified, I lifted no more skirts untill teenager-hood.

I resumed posting on another blog to get a woman to sleep with me!

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IÅIÅuh, hell, of course I would. As weird as thatÒs supposed to be, I would in a heartbeat. Just thinking about it got me hard. But dude, there is no way she would ever even think about it. She loves my dad way too much. That part was true. My parents acted like they were as in love as the day they met. My dad worked hard and that meant being on business trips a few days every month, going to some regional office or another and every time he came back I would be able to hear my parents making love from down the hallway. My mother was so loud every time she came. Believe me, that had provided more fodder for fantasy than a hundred pornos could. And anyway, she would probably hate me, think I am some disgusting little freak if she knew how I feel.
There was a glint in SajiÒs eyes now. What if I could do something to help you? If I could make your fantasy come true, would you do it then?
I had no idea what he was talking about. It was all academic, so I said, Sure.
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YouÒre out of your mind. What, am I going to hypnotize my mother into sleeping with me? I snorted.
No, itÒs nothing as clumsy as you would see in a movie, Saji told me. This, he said, worked over time. Several weeks to a month, depending on how strong-willed the subject was. Well, I knew Mom was pretty strong-willed. The subject did not turn into a zombie and best of all they had no idea what was happening. As far as the subject was concerned all of their thoughts and feelings were coming from them.
So why are you offering me this ancient family secret? I asked. There had to be a catch.
Because youÒre the only person here whoÒs truly been a friend to me. And, obviously I expect you to tell me every detail.
I donÒt know why I made the show of struggling over my decision, but I did. After a few minutes of silence I told Saji, Okay, what do I have to do?
When Saji went home for Spring Break he mixed up some of the herbs. Of course he wouldnÒt tell me what was in the mixture he brought back, but he assured me that it wouldnÒt do anything to hurt my mother. He handed me a big ziplock baggie of something that looked like green tea, but ground up more finely, and some written instructions, along with a vial of an amber oil. Saji said it had a very slight, bitter taste, but depending on what I slipped it into she would never notice. The oil was the activator. It was to be used after the herbs had softened Mom up. Lucky for me Mom has a cup of tea every evening after dinner, Saji said that should work perfectly because it would probably start kicking in when she was ready for bed.

 
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