Monday, July 25, 2005

I Would Be A Bonobo..

Oh to be a bonobo.

Is it a reasonable world where the Chihuahua population flourishes within the plush, hand-sewn handbags of mature Japanese women, while the sexually deviant Bonobo struggles to live it's majestic and hugely-testicled life alongside armed African mercenaries? Manifestly not.

The Bonobo is simply a good example to us all. Please allow me to count the ways.

1/ Bonobos instinctively act for the social good. To this end, sex is often used as a bargaining tool in the resolution of conflicts or the deepening of friendships. Set against this is the human's use of sex as a means to personal gratification, viz. the 'orgasm'.

Imagine this Bonobo trait in Human culture.

A car is has been cut up. The cut up driver makes a dangerous overtaking maneouvre and forces the other car to stop. Both men exit their cars in readiness for physical confrontation. Suddenly, another car pulls up alongside. Two women exit. They proposition the men for sex. Intercourse is conducted and the women return to their car. The men are now too busy smoking a fag to resume the argument.

2/ Violence is common in Human society. Rape and infanticide are just two the most objectionable examples. Menawhile Bonobo society is matriarchal, violence is not tolerated, and rape and infanticide are nonexistant.

Imagine this Bonobo trait in Human culture.

Suddenly, half the Japanese manga and adult video industry no longer exists. Throughout the world female babies can finally sleep safe at night without fear of being pitched into the river - swaddled by their mother in a girdle of bricks.

3/ In Human society the erection is banned in public spaces and nearly all media. Even our most permissive of cultures are yet to display one on daytime T.V. Menawhile in Bonobo society the sight of a swaggering male proudly displaying his erectile tissue is an everyday occurance.

Imagine this Bonobo trait in Human culture.

No more talk about shoe sizes, nose sizes, forehead slants, degrees of eyebrow unification, hand sizes, trouser ruck-angles, or other indirect means for asserting a man's penis size. Through direct observation, a woman always knows what to expect. Additionally, with it's visual prominance, certain penile and related diseases should see a sharp decline.

I would be a bonobo to get a woman to sleep with me!

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