Monday, August 08, 2005

I Know Knights In Shining Armour Won't Help..

I was listening to the Japanese version of Open University. Apparently before we can start to look at History we must "Take off our coloured glasses".

But seeing without "the coloured glasses" is plainly ridiculous. In taking them off, you loose one of the most important weapons in your social arsenal; the ability to identify stupid people and avoid them, plus the connected ability to not become one of the stupid.

A Historian with 'clear sight' studies the middle ages. He becomes more and more interested in the movements and everyday lives of Gaul fighting men. He gathers some likeminded Historian friends together and founds a Historical Re-Creational Combat group. They then spend afternoons parading solemnly through muddy fields, replicating some of the most wearisome and unimaginative events to have occured in the history of men.

It's like fancy dress, but without the humour or irony.

Now, someone with their "coloured glasses" firmly on, would no doubt have spent those afternoons shopping for clothes that were less antiquarian, less embarrassing, more fashionable.

I say to the man on the radio, "Put down the sword, and bear thy tinted spectacles".

I know knights in shining armour won't help to get a woman to sleep with me!


At 2:27 PM, Blogger Nick said...

Do the rather sad middle-aged men who do historical recreation also leave their beta-blockers, valium, blood-pressure medication, insulin, etc etc at home too? Only in the interests of historical accuracy I think they should be encouraged to . . .

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

How about recreating a famous historical mating to get a woman to sleep with you? Tell a female historian that you were King Solomon in a past life and that she reminds you of the Queen of Sheba.

Or maybe not. Your human mating game is so weird and complex that it's hard for a gorilla to know whether he's made a valid suggestion or he's talking out of his hairy arse.

At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Richard S. said...

G to the B, I honestly believe that you would do much better in understanding women by, not trying to. Just go out one night in any East Midlands town centre on a saturday night and gather a few harlots up in your big, muscular hairy arms. It's probably as simple as that.

I'd do the same but don't want to get me sunglasses knocked off me 'ed.


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