Monday, August 29, 2005

I Offer Only The Finest Pork Pies..

Women can be so competitive.

I mention german cars once and now she's got some huge nest egg left by her father.

My lovely Ullia does write such excrutiatingly long e-mails. This time I was forced to be quite violent with editing. The original was close to four times what you see below.

My Darling ,
.....I am more than happy in your reply to my mail. Mine is a little bit hot over here in Dakar Senegal
..... all our relatives ranaway in the middle of the war the only person we have now is Rev.Emmanuel George ..... he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him ....
.....I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the traggic incident ..... i have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me .... in a leading bank in Europe .... the amount in question is $9.7M(Nine Million seven Hundred Thousand Dollars)...... I kept this secret to people in the camp here the only person that knowsabout it is the Revrend because he is like a father to me.
.... Awaiting to hear from you soonest.
Yours in loveforever,
Miss Ullia,

I shall not me outdone by a bloody refugee.


I am glad to hear the weather has warmed since last time we talked of marriage to a third world girl is my dream but you are too rich for me money is no object while my parents are alive and paying for everything you need I have a modest inheritance of several small to medium sized oil fields.

Richard M Suave Esq.

I offer only the finest pork pies to get a woman to sleep with me!


At 12:46 PM, Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

This Reverend fellow sounds suspicious to me. Why would she mention him? I am bored by all this talk of money. Ask her how many children she would like to have and what kind of man she would like to father them.

At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Richard S. said...

Now we cannot just assume the worst about the good Revered, like she says he is like a father to her and they are not living together.

Wouldn't you be more interested in finding out just what is a Hyy Ztrezhrtezt?

At 5:50 PM, Blogger Dr. E. Scientist, phD. said...

Shite, Richard/ If I don't get a date this weekend, I may just end up doing a Hyy Ztrezhrtezt.

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, that's the same girl who wants to wire 9.7 mil into my account! The letter is identical, except the name: Glory mpka

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